Ahhh Christmas in Wythenshawe, that festive time when it is pissing down and one cannot get a space in the carpark at Asda unless they...

Ahh, Christmas! The joyful, festive cherry on top of an arse of a year. Although, if this year is anything to go by, that cherry will be...

I’m currently splayed out on the floor like the redundant head of a mop. I’m sure this does not come as a surprise to you that I am in a...

The crowd were not packed together like sardines, not like the days I remembered fondly from Glastonbury festival. Each person on the...

“SHIT!” I yell as the smell of burning toasts wafts across the kitchen. I rush to pick the cremated bread from the smoking toaster using...

"Today I burnt my fingers on an oven cooked vegetable that exploded", I sing with a hoarse voice, due to the fact that this is my 57th...

“Would you fuck off from up my arse!?” I yell in the car mirror for the fifth time. Bloody Audi drivers think they own the pissing road....

I’m sitting in a bath full of hair. MY OWN HAIR I mean, not a bath full of random hair belonging to another person—that would be gross....

“Louise, don’t send me anymore of those vile penis memes!” I say rather too loudly down the phone as I bustle down the street with half a...

“You’ll like this one” Louise insisted. “pfft” I reply “What do you mean ’Pfft’” she says, “What was wrong with Nathan?” “Err, he looked...

It all started when Joanna made me go to a meeting in her place. Joanna is my boss, she’s had a massive pole stuck up her backside since...

‘For the sake of fuckery Mrs. Tinkles!’ I yell for the fourth time this morning. No, I’m not being mentally abusive to a kindly old...

Healthy food doesn’t have to be boring, dull and flavourless. On the contrary, when your palette starts to become accustomed to flavours...

I am a natural smiler—I smile when I talk to people, when I respond, when I greet someone. But the truth behind those smiles today is...

There he is, my secret crush. He's dark blonde, tall, and all sorts of delicious. He's like a salted caramel sundae that slides coolly...

I refuse to be small, to play small. I will not fit into the boxes you provide, I am strength, the grit and poise, I am the steel will...

I like to make healthy and nutritional things to eat which taste good and also appeal to children. My seven year old son likes the...

It's been a while since my last blog post, mainly because I am one of the busiest people I know. I don't believe in wasting my time- so I...

“I have for the first time found what I can truly love–I have found you. You are my sympathy–my better self–my good angel–I am bound to...

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